Twitter Updates follow me on Twitter Eric Howell Sharp Blog: Feb 23, 2010 We are gearing up for another great evening of murder and mystery at the 94th Aero Squadron in Van Nuys. Our first night there was on February 13th and it was a blast. 101 people turned up for an exciting evening. The Squadron staff was friendly, and professional in attending to our customers. II am very proud of our cast, especially Janice Fischer who hit a home run. This Saturday we are expecting the same turn out. It seems we are off to the races with this new venue. We also had the pleasure of playing down at Leonesse Wine Cellars in Temecula, California on Feb 14 to a crowd of 169. This was a wild evening of merriment and murder! If you are traveling in that neck of the woods you must stop and visit this incredible winery. It is truly breathtaking. We have a show scheduled this week for the lovely and elegant Dove Canyon Country Club in Orange County, CA. Seems like Golf and Murder just go together. We are getting lots of calls asking when we are coming back to El Cid. You will know when we know! We are expecting to announce a new Spring schedule soon with new dates and locations where we will be appearing. Nora and I are working hard to launch our Dinner Court murder trial show this Spring and are devoting much time and energy to this effort. The three productions we did for the MWR of this new, innovative, interactive comedy courtroom were really well received. This works really well for private parties too as guests participate as witnesses and jurors. Quick congrats to our pal, Micah Cover, who is returning to the Magic Castle in march for a one week engagement. We book Micah frequently for our top clients. he is a master magician and premier entertainer. As always, thanks for reading and supporting our little corporation. Please join our facebook page! December 30th, 2009 Thank you, everyone, for making our dinner theater such a smash hit in 2009. I am finishing this year with an abundance of gratitude for my family, my friends, colleagues, and patrons. I am very excited about 2010. We are excited to bring our Comedy Dinner Court to El Centro's Mirage Club on January 16th and then finally launching this innovative new interactive show for an open run in Los Angeles. We are continuing our run at the El Cid with the January production of "Resolution...Murder". Turning over a new leaf and turning up some new bodies too. We'll be sending our email newsletter in a few days so you will get the full scoop. Nora and I just want to wish all of you who visit us here and on stage a very happy New Year! November 24th, 2009 An SEO expert told me I have to do a blog every now and then because the search engine spiders love fresh content. So here I go, fresh and relevant. Your Los Angeles Party Entertainment Company is also becoming San Diego's party entertainment company. Seems we had as many Murder Mystery, Comedy, and Magic Show events in San Diego this month as we did in LA. We have one more - on Thanksgiving - our troupe heads down to the naval base in San Diego to entertain the servicemen and women as part of the Navy's Morale, Welfare, and recreation program. In December, we are all over California. Our dinner theater also keeps rolling along. We are now in our sensational seventh smash hit month in Silverlake at the historic El Cid. We have changed the mystery every month. In December we offer "The Mystery Of The Airobot". We are already sold out for December 4th and 5th, but have some seats available on the 11th, 12th, 18th, 19th, and 26th. We have not scheduled a New Years Eve party at the El Cid since they are doing the Deejay thing instead. So we are doing a few select private parties. If that changes, you'll see it here. Please friend us at facebook.com/sharpo and twitter.com/sharpo. Thanks for staying in touch and Happy Thanksgiving. October 16th, 2009 My son, Benjamin is 17 months old now. He is amazing. He is running wild and climbing and jumping and clapping and laughing and squealing with delight. He is talking and using verbs! Now, I have not read through my previous blog posts or old tweets since I believe in being very stream of consciousness in my writing so I apologize if I have talked about the following already. Before my son could talk he taught me a very important lesson. That is: That there is great satisfaction in knowing you are understood. Before he could talk and he said Wa instead of water I instinctively knew he was not talking about Washington Mutual. So I said Do you want some water? and he laughed and nodded and clapped his hands. He enjoyed being understood as much as he enjoyed the water. I experience the same joy when I am working an audience and try a new joke and the room laughs (or groans) in unison. That means they got it! I have been understood! It really is one of the greatest satisfactions in life. It is probably my original motivation for getting into show business - a deep desire to be understood. That is why we are big fans of contracts here at Sharpo Inc. They bring clarity (and money, which we like even more.) We are a very transparent company too, we place all of our terms and conditions on line at sharpo.com/Terms.html and we even put them in a font size you can read without a magnifying glass. Why do we do this? Because it is fair. Speaking of contracts: Don’t wait too long to book your holiday party! Our December schedule is filling up fast and we want to be available for your group! Call us today or use the info request form in the menu bar and we’ll get you a fair and consistent price quote right away. Thanks for reading. See you on the twitter. September 22nd, 2009 Blog First day of Autumn. Feeling Optimistic. Nora and I are now finishing our fourth month producing our Murder Mystery at the El Cid Dinner Theater and moving into our 5th month with a Halloween Vampire Murder Mystery featuring Jan Fischer who authored "The Lost Boys" for Warner Brothers. We are rehearsing "Play It Again Sam" by Woody Allen (Produced by special arrangement with Samuel French) for a performance this Saturday in China Lake and featuring the talents of Duffy Hudson and Kerri Schmidle. Sharpo!® returns to the Sidecar on Sunday for our first open-to-the-public murder mystery in Ventura in over a year. I even recently auditioned and got a call back for an MD Selig project called "Gun Runner Billy Kane". Yes, you can say we are busy! As we bid adieu to Summer, we say thank you to Richie Cole, Judah Jaeger, and the hard working staff at EL Cid, and thanks to Allie Mackay from KTLA Channel 5 news for the high profile TV segment she did on our mystery dinner theater. Also thanks go to DJ Ross Star for featuring us on his web cast, thanks to Twitter and Facebook for their amazing services which allows us to re-invent the interactive dinner theater experience for our murder mystery attendees. Thank you to our cast of actors who work tirelessly with us to create good theater. Most of all, we thank our customers because you are the most important people in our business. August 21st, 2009 Life balance is so essential and yet so elusive. Yesterday I helped my father-in-law, The General, Don Daniel, put up our new front yard fence. The man is a machine and at 70 years old he is stronger than me at 43. I know this because my shoulders were spent in five minutes using the post hole digger and he kept going all day. The air was clean and fresh - very strange for the San Fernando Vally - and Nora, Joseph and Benny were with us too. Everyone doing their thing. Here's the big news. Benny started walking on his own. 15 months old. I am watching him grow right before my eyes. I am so proud. This fence is going up in the nick of time! He will most likely be jumping over it by noon! This was a great day in a month unlike any other for my family, and for our business. August has turned into an amazing month for Sharpo Inc. The brilliant and wonderful Allie MacKay from KTLA Channel 5 news came down to the historic El Cid and did a televised story on us. The segments are embedded here at our Video Page. This was, of course huge for Sharpo Inc, and raises our profile considerably. I am glad this event is getting the coverage it deserves since the show really is a smash hit. We are selling out more often than not and the actors are leaving more than a pint of blood on stage with every performance. By that I mean they are working their tails off! Nora and I really have the best team going! One of the big angles for the story was the fact that we are among the first to use social media like Twitter and Facebook in our shows. We tweet clues prior to murder mystery events and then during the show in real time. This innovation makes our interactive show even more of a game. �And our team just got bigger. We held casting sessions down at the El Cid last Saturday and I am pleased to announce that we have selected 12 exciting , dynamic extremely talented performers to add to our Theater Company. I will be posting their headshots and bios here soon. So September brings a different mystery to El Cid. So far, we have done �The Haunted Painting�, �Murdertopia� and �Look Both Ways�Before Crossing The Mob�, which has 2 more shows left. Tonight � all sold out, and next Friday which will sell out. The next one up is �Silence, Greed, and Murder� which opens on Friday, September 4th and will play every Friday in September. We have added Saturday, September 5th as well too to accommodate our Labor Day weekend party goers. Also in September we have several private parties and an appearance at the Yorba Linda Country Club. Real quick: Make your Halloween plans now! 10/31/09 is on a Saturday this year! Join us at the haunted Glen Tavern Inn for an overnight murder mystery. Thanks again for reading, everyone. Please join our fan page at Facebook and follow us on twitter! July 19th, 2009 Nora and I created our Dinner Court courtroom circus show for interactive theater enthusiasts who love Murder Mystery Plays, Mock Weddings, Pirate Adventures, and Ren-Fair type of audience participation events and games. Think of it as a sequel of sorts to our murder mystery. We developed the show over the last couple of years in between our busy mystery-comedy-magic events schedule and then brought Dinner Court to our repeat clients who wanted another interactive type of game to follow up with. These audiences raved about our ridiculous and outrageous play and now we are bringing Dinner Court to the El Cid Restaurant in Los Angeles in September. The show will go up as a special Sharpo public event on Sunday, September 20th as a matinee dinner theater. New dates will be added as our schedule allows. Nora and I are very proud of this production and the original cast members, Tom Paliferro, Jason Reed, Duffy Hudson, & Nicole Neuman. We hope to make this a regular event. Dinner Court is interactive and includes a mingling reception like our murder mystery. The program is a little more structured than our mysteries but audience members serve as jurors and may be called to take the stand as witnesses. The program is little shorter too. Our murder mystery dinner usually runs about three hours and Dinner Court runs about 2 1/2 hours. If you want to come on September 20th, 2009 to see the show, call now. We are already half sold out! Sharpo remains dedicated to providing excellent entertainment for all audiences at affordable prices. Our murder mystery dinner theater at El Cid is currently the best deal in Los Angeles- even before our group discounts. Compare with our competition and see for yourself. Quick plugs: We are at El Cid every Friday night! The show is a smash hit. We have added one Saturday so far- September 5th for folks can�t come Fridays. Also: Saturday, August 8th �Ojai Deer Lodge murder mystery. Sunday, September 27th-Chef Tim Kilcoyne�s Sidecar restaurant in Ventura. Saturday October 31st � Overnight Halloween Murder Mystery at Glen Tavern Inn, Santa Paula. 2010 Murder Mystery Cruise on the Mexican Riviera! Sets sail on May 16th. June 22nd Business is murder. We have had a standing company policy to refer and recommend other murder mystery, magic, comedy troupes for dates and gigs for which we are unavailable. Callers seem surprised we would send prospects to other companies, especially when they know how much time, energy, and marketing has gone into getting our phones ringing off the hook and our website traffic through the roof. Well, the fact is that if we cannot be of service for a particular opportunity, the prospect is going to keep shopping anyway. Our experience is that by helping prospects find what they are looking for within or without our company, we are creating good will and these people remember us by bookmarking our site or keeping us in their Rolodex. The only trouble comes if these outside companies don't deliver a good program for these prospects. Unfortunately, that has happened lately, as has the annoying situation of one of these suggested companies expressing sour grapes toward our company. Can you imagine a customer's reaction when Company A recommends Company B and then Company B tells them how rotten Company A is? Not only does Company B lose this opportunity but the prospect tells Company A of this and now Company A stops recommending Company B. Oh well, our new answer is to find a way to accommodate all requests within our own company. Being of service is the key to success in any business. We are in the party business so the party starts as soon as we answer the phone. Here are some Sharpo!® slogans that have our customers laughing even before they call. "Life is fun, life is murder. We offer both", "Frame someone you love for murder", "Solving fake murders since 1989". This last one needed an exception to be posted on Google who doesn't want any phony services posted in ads! That made me laugh since we only deal in phony murders. That's just one of the ways we stay out of prison. "CSI means Call Sharpo in", "Trust your inner detective". There are more slogans. Many of them already on our Sharpo!® prizes and promotional items. Okay, I just have to finish this entry by saying how great the historic El Cid La is! We have been playing there all June with our Haunted Painting mystery and the service is excellent, the staff is very professional and love their work, the management is a delight to work with (Thanks Richie C) and the place is just perfect for our murder mystery show. This Friday is the last chance to see "La pintura Frecuentada" this summer. On July 3rd, we open "Murdertopia" there. Reserve now online or call us (818)909-9605. Hope to see you at El Cid on Friday nights! May 20th It seems that the bigger the company, the worse the customer service is. Consumer trust in big corporations is at an all time low. People are angry and frustrated and spend hours on hold an their in-store experience is the same. So the chiefs keep throwing money at image management, attempting to create the perception that they are the company to trust, to rely on with friendly, professional service and a guarantee of satisfaction. That is a big disconnect with reality. Meanwhile the conventional wisdom is that employees are scared. They are afraid of losing their job in a rough economy. Some managers think that this culture of fear is somehow going to produce a better, more efficient workplace with more profitable results. I disagree. I think this culture of fear breeds resentment and creates an atmosphere of distrust, disloyalty and disgruntled staff. Corporate managers, have you forgotten that the human resource capital is your most valuable asset? Now more than ever, it is important to maintain your systems at every level within a company. I am a big believer that employees who are expected to give their energy and time to a corporation must receive more than financial compensation. They need to feel appreciated, and that their work is important - that they are an integral part of their company's success. That is why team building is so important. Since most companies are not in the position to increase salaries and wages at this time, they should consider more staff incentives and rewards for their team. One of the biggest problems is that the team building adventures is that it is often requested and performed for executives and managers only. The way I see it, many of the corporate systems we see are broken at the point of purchase. The people who need to be brought into the team and feel appreciated and valued are the people on the floor. When the staff isn't smiling and thanking the customers in a sincere manner, there is a problem. Can these people be motivated to work for the team as if they were the brand? Can employees take pride in being "part of"? I say yes they can, but not when they fear they may get the axe at any moment. Why would anyone work harder, smarter and labor to build some corporate entity's profits when they feel exploited or uncared for or that they are so expendable. Wow. That sounds pretty harsh. It sounds pretty unpleasant and it doesn't sound humanistic at all. The solution is simple. Make the staff excited to spend one third of their waking hours being part of a team. When the team wins, so should every member of that team. Motivation and Morale boosters should be a regular part of the schedule for management. Sorry, Madison Avenue, but I reiterate: companies should divert some funds from the huge image management business to the business of actually transforming their staff into excited representatives of the company. When employees take pride and dignity in their work, customer service will improve and the image of professional friendly reliable service will be restored - across the board. April 8th, 2009 Spring has sprung. Boinggg. The pace is picking up. Nora and I want to wish all of you a Happy Holiday this week. We are working on many exciting projects including our upcoming weekend murder mystery at Glen Tavern Inn on may 2nd and 3rd. We are also producing a tribute show for Leo Baeck Temple's Angels and Heroes dinner at the Lux Hotel, may 9th. The fantastically brilliant Jan Fischer (THE LOST BOYS) is writing the sketches with us. Of course, we are also doing plenty of private parties and corporate events big and small. Oh, and on top of all this we are going back into rehearsals for PLAY IT AGAIN SAM by Woody Allen for performance at San Diego Naval Base (by special arrangement with Samuel French). Whew. Grateful to bring Sharpo!® Inc. entertainment to so many. HEY, I downloaded Skype. I have been skyping it up with family and clients. I love seeing my nephew and niece on my screen. It is like they are in the same room with me. Soon. Very soon, screens will be huge. They will take up a whole wall of your home. The resolution will be so fine that it will be indistinguishable by sight to determine if the image on the screen is in the same room with you or thousands of miles away. I am very excited about this and of course I am imagining the possible applications for Sharpo!® mystery, comedy and magic entertainment. I am twittering away at sharpo.com/twitter - giving bonus clues for the weekend murder mystery, I am on the Facebook several times a day. I am a real "Nettie" (did I make that word up?) I also signed up at mypodcast.com . User name: "Sharpo". I am preparing my first podcast, "Sharpo Says". I am working on the format now. I hope you will tune in. Until next time, BE LUCKY. March 18th, 2009 Vampires, beware. I am a garlic maniac! I started on a garlic kick last month when I was sick and now am eating several cloves a day. I am one stinky person but I have never felt better! You know the saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, and an onion a day keeps everyone away?" Well garlic kicks onion's ass. I am just saying. Don't worry, I make every effort to smell minty fresh when I perform in my interactive events. QUICK PLUG - After the recent success of PLAY IT AGAIN SAM at the Mirage Club in El Centro, the MWR (Morale, Welfare and Recreation) has asked us to bring the play to San Diego Naval Base for one performance on June 16th. I have already written to Samuel French in the hopes to secure the rights again. Kudos to Duffy Hudson, Kerri Schmidle and especially my wonderful wife, Nora Sharp. Back to the vampires, or blood sucking parasites! I usually try to keep my political opinions to myself. I am an entertainer and I do not want to alienate my audiences by pontificating on areas best left to thieves and gangsters but I feel I must sound off on the Bailout BS. I am torn about the executive bailout backlash. On the one hand, I am in the corporate event business so when the taxpayers bailed out AIG last year and the execs all took a trip to CA for Team building or what-not, I was actually okay with that. I liked the thought that those funds were going to pay service industries from hotels, dining, entertainment etc. That is money into the economy. Stim-U-Luscious. But I am also an executive (President and CEO of Sharpo, Inc, thank you very much) and I find it outrageous to see AIG just loot the taxpayer and pay these retention bonuses to people who ran the company into the ground. I read one report saying AIG stands for "Arrogance, Incompetence, Greed". That sums it up for me. These people clearly have no respect for the rest of us and that makes it hard for me to ever want to do business with them. I vented my frustration by switching my auto insurance from AIG to Infinity. Here comes the contradiction - If they hire my company to entertain I will have to say yes. It would be stim-u-luscious for me, for my company, my team, and then we would use that money to re invest in more Sharpo promotional coffee mugs. I really believe that coffee tastes better in a Sharpo Mug. Thanks for reading. Twitter me, will ya? February 21st, 2009 IMPORTANT NOTICE: Sharpo is changing our phone / data systems. There may be interrupted telephone/email services between February 25th through March 2nd. We are working hard to insure a smooth transition and thank you for your patience. Friends, Do you need a break? At Sharpo! Incorporated, we believe that life is a celebration and no matter what challenges we face in our daily lives, we should laugh together whenever possible. In fact, the more stress we are experiencing, the more we need to let go and have some fun. That is why we should enjoy ourselves today. SO, ARE YOU READY TO PARTY!?!?! Sharpo! Is Your Party & Event Entertainment Company. Special Anniversary? Big Birthday? Family Reunion? Need a Fundraising Activity? Team Builder? Morale Booster? Sharpo.com has the SOLUTION! Why not throw a MURDER MYSTERY PARTY? Stocks are down, murder is up. It is time to think positive. Positively Murder! We can bring our hit interactive murder mystery event to any private area. You can host a Sharpo murder mystery on a boat, train, banquet room, we can even produce a murder mystery in your own home. Choose your party scheme: �MURDERTOPIA� A professional best selling mystery writer is a special guest speaker at your event. Is someone at your party trying to kill her just like one of the characters in her books? (This program features a full professional cast of 5 or a Skeleton Crew of 3) �LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE MOB� Has someone at your party betrayed a powerful crime boss? This program features federal agents , femme fatales, rats, and of course, the Don himself! (This program features a full professional cast of 5.) �LA PINTURA FRECUENTADA� � Is the Curse of a haunted painting the real cause of a triple homicide at your party? (This program is available with a full cast, skeleton crew, or Eric Howell Sharp�s One Man Mystery, Comedy, Magic Show.) DINNER COURT DINNER THEATER � This is our interactive mock trial play! Read all about this exciting new live event! at Dinnercourt.com ANY PLAY ANY WHERE - Sharpo!® Inc recently produced PLAY IT AGAIN SAM, by Woody Allen by special arrangement with Samuel French, for The Mirage Club in El Centro, California. The play is a smash hit! We can bring you just about any play your budget will allow, anywhere in North America. Just remember, we need time to secure the performance rights, cast the show with top talent, and rehearse. Sharpo is now truly bringing BROADWAY to your event! Einstein in La Jolla � On March 16th, Duffy Hudson, brings Albert Einstein to life in his all new One man Show for one day only at the La Jolla, CA library. Duffy�s critically acclaimed One man Edgar Allen Poe show is available through Sharpo, Inc for your event (Perfect for Luncheons, Socials, Book Clubs, Halloween Parties, etc) More to come! Stay tuned and think positive. Positively Murder. January 21st, 2009 I still haven't figured out how to move my wordpress blog over to Sharpo.com, so...never mind. Instead, I will just start typing and then link to the old entries at Sharpo.wordpress.com. While I ponder what to say, why not read this interview (already dated - sometime in 2008?) of me by Andrew Enriquez? Andrew Enriquez Interviews Eric Sharp Usually, Eric Sharp�s introduction is �Hi, I�m with the band. My name�s Ernie,� as he works a crowd undercover playing tunes on his ever-present blues harp. Sometimes, �Shoot or I�ll freeze,� or a number of other opening taglines he employs after a corpse crashes some Fortune 500 company�s holiday party. While most Americans know him as Sharpo the Clown from the Jim Carey blockbuster comedy Liar, Liar, Sharp is a rock star in the interactive murder mystery industry. Owner, producer, and lead detective of Sharpo.com, Sharp�s been involved in live mystery productions since 1989, when he started acting for a company in New Jersey. Now he�s played everywhere from NBC/Universal's holiday party in Studio City, CA to the Sheraton Towers in Chicago, country clubs, military bases, and convention centers all across the US. We were driving from Hollywood to play a casino near Yosemite national park, and the downtime was the perfect opportunity to get a few straight answers about his Sharpo! Inc.�s new website, detectivesharp.com. That, or play Punch-Buggy. Sharp�s got giganto guns, so I pull out the laptop instead. Me: What is detectivesharp.com? ES: �Detectivesharp.com is an opportunity for me to investigate other areas beside murder mysteries. I�ve been a comedy murder mystery event detective since 1989, and I�d like to investigate the universe--as far as time travels, life on other planet, the paranormal, the evidence that angels exist, the unusual, the strange. I want to share that with my readers and appear live for audiences and present these topics objectively for education, and entertainment.� I�m playing journalist again for the first time since I won at North Idaho College those Associated Collegiate Press awards, about which I constantly talk. (Notice the proper grammar?) As a self-made man himself, Sharp has a way of recognizing, utilizing, and rewarding all his actors� talents, and I�m no exception. So, what can you find on detective sharp.com? �You can find links to just about everything that�s a mystery. Soon you�ll find original content. For instance, we are arranging to interview Janice Fischer (screenwriter of the hit Warner Brothers feature film The Lost Boys) to speak about the history, possibility, and nature of vampires.� Here he chuckles a little. �And I�m laughing because it�s all a little ridiculous, and I think we all need a little of the ridiculous in our lives. Life is fun, life is a mystery: we offer both.� Mystery being his business, he�s played comic detective for real cops to rave reviews, and does such a convincing card sharp impression he was escorted out of a Pittsburgh show by security. He�s told me he�s got so into character once he flashed his facsimile badge and told off a CHP officer who pulled him over: �Do you know who I am? I play a police detective!� Those were the bad old days. Now, he�s diversifying from mere comic detective into cosmic investigator. He laughs about the scope of this investigation: �I�m an optimist. I investigate mysteries to find evidence and provide evidence that god loves us; that the universe if basically good; that everything is connected; and that learning never stops. The bottom line is, we want to have an objective place on the web that is not controlled by the corporate media, or the fringe groups, but somewhere in the middle--and talk about the fun stuff, meaning we�re staying away from politics. Instead, we�ll explore Roswell, black holes, ghosts--a peek behind the curtain.� But what about bias? Is his ideology colored by personal beliefs, a journalistic heresy? �Good old-fashioned American values--(laughs) meets New Age wacko!� This is Sharp�s easy, edgy style of humor, a non-sequitur, turn-on-a-dime-style, like when he jams �taps� on his harmonica after asking mystery audiences for a moment of silence for the people who really died--on the Titanic. He continues: �It�s a family-friendly site. Our audience is anyone who wants to learn. To live, to celebrate the unusual and absurd.� You�ve mentioned �absurd� a couple of times now. Could this be construed as a judgment against some of the theories presented? �Yes, some.� What experience do you have as an educator? �None. I�m an entertainer. I happen to be a very good speaker. I have an associate�s degree from Brookdale Community College in the area of theater and public speaking. People tell me I�m a very good communicator. I think they�re lying.� Sharp is a good communicator. When he�s on, he can get an audience of 300 drunk lawyers to giggle like fifth-graders when he waggles an eyebrow. Since his background is theatrical and not academic, it makes sense he�d be a better live educator than printed. �We already do three hundred events a year in murder mystery theatre, comedy shows, magic, so why not add to that with appearances from our own detectives, exploring these fun topics in classrooms. I think that there�s room for this in a corporate environment as well.� He also sees the website as a natural evolution of his personal style of marketing. Describing this, he momentarily slips into a style of ironic dramatic insincerity that�s impossible to describe in words. It�s some intangible contortion to his face and in rasp in his vocal tone that lets you know he�s joking. �We�re a brand. It�s a simple matter if entrepreneurial, megalomaniacal branding.� Then, blithely honest: �We see a future TV show: Detective Sharp Investigates. Every week, Detective Sharp and his Scooby-Doo-ers investigate. Each week we run a new reel: let�s go the Loch and investigate. The next is ETs, then time travel. It�s Abbot and Costello meets Columbo, meets Star Trek meets Bewitched, with a little Gilligan thrown in.� Is detectivesharp.com for profit? (Breaking into TV infomercial voice) "Attention advertiser!� Where do you see detectiveharp.com in a few years? (Dramatic) �Bigger than Google! Um, I don�t know. I�m just investigating the universe.� As we hybrid-Ford Escape through an expanse of wide-open rocky rolling hills populated, it seems, only by anorexic broccoli-like black oaks and the occasional cud-chomping cow, the enormity of his investigative quest awes me a little. I�m skeptical anyone could pull it off. If philosophical and scientific knowledge have served me at all, it�s just been to keep me humble about my place in the universe, remind me of finitude and mortality. But Sharp�s an optimist. �Do you ever wake up in the morning and you feel like you want to learn about something? You know, a philosopher doesn�t just study one topic: we shouldn�t just specialize in one thing. We all have a thirst for knowledge. That�s the great thing about the web. We get to say: today, �I want to learn about this thing.� Like, 70 percent of Americans believe in angels. I think that�s great, because I believe in angels, and now we have a site with links that are screened by detectivesharp�s editors to meet our strict standard for family entertainment.� I dig a little deeper, and ask about his own personal philosophy, about major influences on his worldview. He answers with silence for a moment, and I clarify: Like life lessons, that sort of thing. �Let�s come back to that.� That�s a rhetorical invitation, so I move on and ask what he�s proudest of as an entertainer. �I�m very proud to be the executive producer of Sharpo! Incorporated and Sharpo.com, um, to produce events for Fortune 500 companies, putting a lot of talented people to work. This is after working in film and TV and that was great and I still want to do it, but this is fun. When I wake up in the morning and go to work for the corporation, I want to know that I�m helping people laugh and learn.� He thinks a moment, then: �It�s important to stress I�m not taking this very seriously: When I hear about a crop circle, I don�t think that�s a very serious topic. Stonehenge, maybe, but isn�t there a fun way to learn about that? I mean, I�m an entertainer, how serious can that get. Detectivesharp.com�s a little tongue-in cheek.� What do you think is the value of lifelong learning? In terms of-- �You�re right; there is no value! Let� just be as dumb as possible! While we�re at it, let�s eliminate math.� This is disingenuous again, dripping with irony like a car�s draining oil pan, then another 180 turn to sincerity: �Why even live if you not going to continue to learn? I mean, after we got the survival thing down; you�ve got a roof over your head--because this site won�t do much good to you if you don�t�you�ve got a roof over your head, three squares meals a day, a means of income. I imagine some people just want to drink beer after that. I�m not one of those people. That�s why I don�t play comedy clubs any more. We want to interact with thinking people. The closer you look at any of the topics on this site, the more you see everything�s connected, and everything�s a little bit funny.� I pause to let my weak keyboarding catch up, and he adds: �Don�t ask me, ask Fibonacci.� Where do you see Detectivesharp.com in a few years? �I�m hoping we get big enough that some major corporation buys us and uses us as a tool for disinformation.� Do you feel, as an entertainer, that you have a public educative responsibility? �No. I�m just attracted to this kind of material: This is the kind of thing I�d like to research and talk about, and I think a lot of people do. I think we�re going to have a very big audience here. (Beat) It keeps me from running for office. From doing something crazy like running for governor.� He doesn�t think detectivesharp.com needs to worry about its impact on culture and journalism as a whole, as long as it connects with individuals. �I think that our fame on the internet is imminent, and that we will be bigger than Tila Tequila, only not as pretty. And I don�t shake it-shake it. You say �not as pretty�, but (Detectivesharp.com contributor) Nora, your wife, is very attractive. �Beautiful! And incredibly wise, and educated in many areas outside the medical field where she�s trained. On our first date, we talked about the Fibonacci code over sushi. It was love. After that, we were inseparable. She�s stunningly beautiful. Everyone thinks she maybe a little nearsighted--she ended up with me--� But I�ve seen you in action at murder mysteries, and you�re pretty popular with the ladies in those audiences �No comment. Just trying to solve a mystery.� He�s humorous when I ask what topics he�d like to get more play in mainstream media: �I don�t think we have enough Britney. More Britney, all the time, that�s what we need. I need to know what J-lo is wearing, that�s very important to me. And what Lindsey Lohan isn�t wearing. Mainstream media, honestly. We have more sources of information than at any time in history. Anyone who is curious can learn about anything and everything. (Pauses) I hope people will always consider the source.� Since a lot of what detectivesharp.com links to can be pretty contentious despite his distaste for controversy, he disavows responsibility for contents of sites his to which his link. To Sharp, the intuition of the conscientious is the ultimate fact-checker. �The real answers come from intuition. Silent meditation brings a connection with my Higher Power, then all information that comes in is checked against that information. You�ve heard �nose for news�, �I smell a rat�, things like that: It�s all--all intuition. The language gets in the way--So don�t read any further! Get some sleep--but first, visit my sponsors.� I laugh pretty heartily. I know Sharp well enough to intuit his tone as sarcastic, but someone else might be confused by the aboutface from earnest philosophizing to pretend cynicism. I wonder if people with ADHD have a hard time reading Sharp�s sense of humor, ranging alpha-omega from the vaudeville-broad to the pop culture topical, wit dry and tawny as Sandeman port to Don Ricklesian insult comedy. I pull what I call an �Oprah�, a sort of verbal Rorschach test that would be equally at home in James Lipton�s or Redbook magazine�s repertoire: If detectivesharp.com were an animal, what animal would it be?He answers immediately. �A horse.� For horse sense? �Maybe. I was born in the Year of the Horse (1966), I like to gallop along through life; horses are strong animals who are friendly to man. Maybe a winged horse. You know, what are they called?� A Pegasus. �Right, a Pegasus. Maybe we�re a unicorn, cause I�m a little horny.� This bit of improv gets a good laugh, so I ask him to finish a story for me: So, an alien walks into a bar, sits next to a vampire. What happens next? �Oh. I�ve never been good at this. I need to go back to The Groundlings. Okay, so an alien walks into a bar, sits next to a vampire. �What�re you drinking?� he asks the vampire, and the vampire says �Your blood!� and bites the alien in the neck, so the alien vaporizes him. The end. �That�s why I don�t play comedy clubs. Now you know the secret to that.� And the moral? �You didn�t tell me there had to be one of those! The moral is: If you are a vampire, only go after human beings. If you are an alien, always have a vaporizer ready. Of course, in this case, the alien was bitten first, so shouldn�t he become an alien vampire?� He�s right on some hypothetical level. I�ve wondered myself: If vampires are invisible in mirror because they have no souls, why are their clothes invisible, too? Can garments by saturated with emanating evil essences as well? But, back to business: Now, there are actually reports of vampire aliens. That�s the sort of thing you�ll investigate on the site? �Not alone, and not a night. Always have your holy water ready.� I know, dear reader, what you�re asking yourself, because I asked it next: Have you ever had a paranormal experience? �Yes. I was doing a murder mystery in Hotel Colorado, which is said to be haunted, and early in the morning after sleeping in--in my room it--felt like someone sat on the foot of the bed. I awoke with a start, and there was a depression in the mattress, like someone was sitting there. I got cold sweats. I don�t remember what I did next.� Here he switched into a surreal Rod Serling voice: �Then I woke up in my car 300 miles away. No, no, but the part before is real. Always around Halloween I feel a little closer to the spirit world, that the veil separating the two worlds is thinner. I�ve often felt that-uh, angels, were guiding me and helping me, catching me when I fall.� Any specific incidents? �I fell out a moving car when I was four. That is the truth. The car kept going, and I started walking after the car, and on the freeway the cars behind me were honking. My mom told me not to tell my grandma, and the first thing I did was say �Guess what, Gramma? I almost died today!� Previously, you�ve talked about positive thinking. Do you think this is a positive interaction site, in the sense of sending out good karma, perhaps? �I never really thought of myself as an innovator. But I do have an �attitude of gratitude�, and I think that if we remember to count our blessings that�ll affect every area of our lives and everyone we interact with. (Suddenly comic flower child) Yay, flowers for everybody!� Squirting flowers? (Laughs) �That�s right!� Now, do you think online interaction or virtual reality will ever develop to the point where artificial intelligence will be able to help humans on their quest for knowledge? �I think they�re going to take over and we�re going to be their slaves. How�s that for optimism? By now, you�re starting to �get� the irony, I bet. �Yes, I think they will, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is a robot from the future. �Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.�� So, Star Trek was a major influence in your childhood. �Yes. George Reeves as Superman, Shatner as Kirk, Adam West as Batman, are my earliest heroes, beside my dad. And, uh, I look at all male bonding as a relationship as: Which one is Kirk and which one is Spock? Star Trek is very optimistic; the world doesn�t end in 2012, like in the Mayan calendar.� That�s something that�s addressed on the site. Do you think in 2012 we world will end? �Every day the world ends for somebody. That�s what my dad has always said, somebody�s world will end every day. And if the world does end, I want to watch it on the big screen, in full color.� Do you think that the ephemeral nature of the web reflects that in some way? �He feigns ignora nce of the word �ephemeral�, a typical self-effacing technique he uses to ingratiate himself to audiences and ease them into playing along. He�s been consistently referred to as Columbo-esque in this regard, and there sometimes is a distinct resemblance in personality. So I play the hubristic Columbo villain, like John Cassavetes, and rephrase: I mean, the temporariness--the temporary nature of the web. Constantly changing, pages are gone every day, somebody might not read your blog, and-- �Andy Warhol and his 15 minutes of fame? It is up to the minute, and I want it that way. As far as being relevant, I don�t want 15 minutes of fame, I want a half hour. Anyone who has something to say should get at least a half hour.� Funny you should say that, �cause you had a TV show called My Half Hour. �Yeah, that�s hysterical. (Laughs, back to sarcastic self) I guess that was where I was going with that one too.� You mean the topics you covered? �The same things as Detectivesharp.com investigates, only not as thorough.� You say that you see all male bonding relationships in terms of �Kirk� and �Spock�. Am I like the Spock to your Kirk? I feel Spockian sometimes-- �Yes, I think you�re a Vulcan. Can you please show some human emotion?� We both get a good chuckle out of this. �I�m a detective, not a busboy. The question is illogical. You are thin and tall, with rather prominent eyebrows.� Here he breaks into stuttering burlesque Shatner impression: ��And I�am�Captain-Kirk (takes both hands off steering wheel to gesticulate corny Kirkian kung fu), and we--come-in-peace.� I always loved that. Kirk throws a punch, then says �We come in peace.� Being on Star Trek Voyager was a great thing for me, one of my life goals. You can look up my episode online at Memory Alpha, the Star Trek wiki.� That�s right, you played an alien map-seller �Map vendor, selling maps to direct you through the expanse of the universe.� That�s kind it�s like on the site, you�re guiding your readers through the expanse of the internet universe ��Internet universe�. Whatever. You�re stretching now.� Maybe I should wrap this up. Any final words for your readers on detectivesharp.com? �Yeah! Stay curious, laugh and let laugh. Live, love, learn. Visit sharpo.com and drink milk after every meal. Milk? I�m not so sure about that last one� �How �bout this? Live it up.� These are his words to live by. I wrap up the official interview portion of the morning as we wind through rocky valleys and stunning Central California landscapes. When we roll into The Chukchansi Casino (in the show he ad-libs the malapropism �Too-Chancey�) to work the job with the rest of the cast, it�s like Ocean�s Five, and I feel like Matt Damon. Eric Sharp�s Detective Danny Ocean in black Dickies. ---SNIP----- All Contents of Sharpo.com ®, unless otherwise noted are: © Copyright 1992-2009 Eric Sharp, Sharpo!® Entertainment Productions, and Sharpo Incorporated. All Rights Reserved. The music on page is Public Domain. 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